Ra-ra-rambling

Today has been an unproductive day, but I'm loving every minute of it. I've sat around and watched a million episodes of Roseanne today! :) Love, love, love that show!!! One of my all time favorites.

I'm having a hard time concentrating on something right now. It's like I feel like I can't do enough around my house. I also feel like I have given up on working up again. Why is it so hard to do this? I'm not even slipping into my eating disorder ways. It's more like...not caring anymore. I care about what I look like, I care about being healthy, however, I think I've taken a 180.

I will figure this out :) I love analyzing. Sometimes it's mentally draining because I can over*analyze certain things a lot. I'm always trying to figure out more about myself and others. Motives. Behaviors. So interesting. Which is why I have really been leaning towards working with mental illness and psychology. I gave up the idea for a bit and leaned towards nursing. But, my heart loves helping those in need mentally.

Anyways, this was just a little ramble. Will try to keep up with writing more often. Why do I find that so hard to do most the time?

Unleashing...

I close my eyes and the first thing I see is me....in a picture....but this picture hasn't been taken yet. I'm standing there and I have this cardigan on, oatmeal, maybe merlot, and a nice tee underneath with a pair of cute shoes, dark jeans, a belt, and a watch and some jewelry. I envision my nails being longer...most likely from getting them done and always having shampoo and conditioner, all the body lotions, scrubs, make-up. I just want to keep up with myself!! I want be able to wear the clothes I want to wear, have my hair done and dyed and kept up.

I'll be moving soon, which I'm looking forward to more than anything else. I want the independence. I want more power and control. I don't want to control everything, but maybe work on control myself. Regardless....a new home of my own. Can't wait.

Part of me wants to turn this into something creative. Turn it into a blog for others to really read and feel inspired by and look at cool pictures. Maybe share my own thoughts, pictures, poems, etc. I just have this creativity bug in me. Must unleash it!!!!!