Thursday, May 13, 2010

How to Achieve Your Goals.

So you have some goals, but you just can’t seem to achieve them. You’re frustrated, right? Well, why is it so hard? Do only a few lucky people get to achieve their goals? No…
It’s all about creating a logical plan and executing it.
There are three big reasons why people fail to achieve their goals:
They never set achievable goals to begin with.
They have no plan.
They never take any sort of logical action.
Do you think Steve Jobs and Bill gates were just lucky, or did they have a plan? You better believe they had a plan – a long, long-term vision. And then they worked hard and took a series of logical, actionable steps to achieve them. They didn’t just ‘think it.’ They ‘did it.’
You don’t try to build a wall. You don’t set out and say, “I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that has ever been built.” You say, “I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.”
You do this every single day, and soon you have a wall.
-Will Smith
How To Achieve Your Goals

Over the years I have achieved many of my personal goals. And in all cases this is the methodology I used. It’s tried and true, and I assure you, it can help you achieve your goals as well. There are four basic steps:
Set achievable goals.
Strategize and plan.
Take action.
Review your progress regularly.
Let’s go through them one at a time.
Set Achievable Goals

When you are climbing the ladder, ensure that
you are leaning against the right wall.
You can climb the ladder as fast as you want, but it’s going to be a giant waste of your time if you get to the top and realize you’re leaning against the wrong wall. You will need to get this step right to ensure that you are not wasting your efforts on goals that you do not truly want to achieve. We as humans have a tendency to try to bite off more than we can chew, and this usually causes us to feel frustrated and annoyed.
Because we only have a finite amount of time, it’s foolish to attempt to conquer the world in a day. Yeah, you could set goals to be the best guitar player, basketball player, football player, lose weight, be financially savvy, earn $10,000 and join the public speaking club all at the same time. But does that sound logical or achievable? Not to me it doesn’t. How can you excel at anything when you are juggling everything?
So the first key is to figure out a few (1 to 3) things that you truly want. And make sure you truly understand why you want these things. Otherwise you’ll just lose interest.
Strategize and Plan

Here are the basic strategies you will need to employ to keep your motivation burning and your progress on track:
A) Paste up your goals where you can see them every day. – Without reminders, you will likely forget about your goals and become easily distracted by other stimuli. So print them out 10, 20 or 30 times and paste them up in the most prominent, visible areas around your house, office, etc.
B) Create a visualization board. – For most of us, our mind sees the world in images and we remember images more clearly compared to text and numbers. A visualization board is basically a large bulletin board filled with clear images of what you want to achieve. This added visual stimulation can help invoke powerful emotions that will constantly drive your motivation.
If you want to lose weight and get back down a few pants sizes, put an old photo of yourself up on the board. If you want your blog to start making a thousand dollars a month, find a few success stories online of people that have achieved that goal and stick it up on the board. You get the idea. Position the board right next to your work area so you can see it while you work toward your goals.
C) Form a small mastermind group. – A mastermind group is your support group. And believe me, this group is a vital entity to your success. The group can consist of any amount of people (at least 2), but the important thing is that everyone in the group must share similar goals. It doesn’t help much when you are trying to lose 30 lbs and other members in the group have goals of setting up their own company.
A mastermind group helps to hold all its members accountable. This will help you maintain consistency in taking action even when laziness gets the best of you. Be sure to meet with your mastermind group at least once a week.
D) Create a daily action plan with actionable tasks. – Bullet points A, B and C help you to sustain the desire and motivation to achieve your goals. This will ensure that you will not give up halfway though and fall backwards on your rear end. But you also need a real, actionable plan that you can follow every day until you actually do achieve your goals.
Every morning, brainstorm for tasks that will help to bring you closer to your goals and write them down. Try to create three small actionable tasks each morning and complete them before you go to sleep. Make them a priority and fit them into your schedule. Whether you complete them or not makes a big difference in whether or not you will succeed.
If you find it hard to generate the small daily tasks or an actionable plan that will bring you closer to your goals, seek out a mentor, search online, or purchase a book on goal setting.
Here are three books I highly recommend:
Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
Focal Point: A Proven System to Simplify Your Life, Double Your Productivity, and Achieve All Your Goals
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
Breaking down your goals will help you avoid the feeling of being overwhelmed. When you are creating your action plan, keep the short-term tasks in mind instead of obsessing over the long-term end result. Obsessing over long-term results just creates stress. It is far easier to think on a short-term task-related basis. And as long as you complete your tasks, the results will take care of themselves. For instance, if you want to write a book, don’t obsess about completing the book (long-term results oriented), just focus on writing a page or two a day (short-term task-related) and soon you will have your book completed.
E) Set a deadline. – You will also need to set a deadline for your goal. A long-term goal without a deadline will not instill any sense of urgency in you. And defining a deadline also gives you something to look forward to.
Take Action

This step doesn’t need a long explanation. Just take your daily action plan that we created above and DO IT! More than anything, successfully achieving any goal hinges on the simple act of making a decision to absorb yourself fully in the process of getting things done – actually taking action.
Review Your Progress Regularly

An airplane goes slightly off its set course 70 to 80 percent of the time during an average flight, but the pilots always manage to land it in the exact location they intended. How? It’s quite simple. Every time they go off course, they make a slight adjustment to correct it.
Reviewing your goals regularly will help you to check your progress to determine if any adjustments are required. In addition, monitoring your progress will also likely motivate you to try even harder. Whenever we see positive results, we have the tendency to take more action so we can see more positive results.
Parting Words

This article was inspired by one of the comments I recently received over on my blog. It seems that people are often frustrated that they can’t stick to their goals and achieve the results they want in life. I hope this article helps. I would love to hear some feedback from you in the comments section below. I’ll be sure to follow-up. Cheers.

Emotional Eating

Below are the 12 types of emotional hunger that fuel emotional eating. In order to lose weight for life, you will have to conquer all 12 types. Look over the list -- which type of emotional hunger derails your diet?

Type 1. Dulling The Pain With The Food.

If you get really hungry when you feel angry, depressed, anxious, bored, or lonely, you suffer from Type 1 emotional hunger, and you use food to dull the pain that these emotions cause.

Type 2. Sticks And Stones May Break Your Bones, But Cake Won't Heal What Hurts You.

According to Dr. Gould and Mastering Food, if you react by getting hungry when others talk down to you, take advantage of you, belittle you or take you for granted, then you suffer from Type 2 emotional hunger. You eat to avoid confrontation.

Type 3. A Full Heart Fills An Empty Belly.

If you crave food when you have tension in your close relationships, you suffer from Type 3 emotional hunger. You eat to avoid feeling the pain of rejection or anger.

Type 4. Hate Yourself, Love Your Munchies.

If you tend to become hypercritical of yourself, if you label yourself "stupid," "lazy," or "a loser," you have Type 4 emotional hunger. You eat to "stuff down" self-doubts.

Type 5. Secret Desires Have No Calories.

If your hunger gets activated because your intimate relationships don't satisfy some basic need like trust or security, you suffer from Type 5 emotional hunger and you use food to try to fill the gap, according to Dr. Gould and Mastering Food,

Type 6. Forty Gulps And The Well Is Still Empty.

If you eat to make up for the deprivation you experienced as a child, you have Type 6 emotional eating.

Type 7. It's My Pastry, and I'll Eat If I Want To.

If you eat to assert your independence because you don't want anyone telling you what to do, you have Type 7 emotional hunger.

Type 8. I Can't Come To Work Today--I'm Eating

According to Dr. Gould and Mastering Food, if your appetite kicks in when you're faced with new challenges--if you use food to avoid rising to the test, or to insulate yourself from the fear of failure--you have Type 8 emotional hunger.

Type 9. Aroused by Aromas, Not by the Chef.

If you stuff your face in order to avoid your sexuality-either to stay overweight so that nobody desires you or to hide from intimate encounters--you suffer from Type 9 emotional hunger.

Type 10. I'll Beat You With this Éclair.

Emotional eaters often eat to pay back those who have hurt them, often in the distant past. They use their bodies as battlegrounds for working out old resentments. If you do this, you're really battling type 10 emotional hunger

Type 11. Peter Pan and the Peanut Butter Cookie.

If you eat to make yourself feel carefree, like a child, you have Type 11 emotional hunger. You eat to keep yourself from facing the challenges of growing up.

Type 12. That Stranger In Shorts Wearing Your Face.

If you overeat because you fear getting thin, either consciously or unconsciously, you have Type 12 emotional hunger.

Carl Jung

Carl Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist, an influential thinker and is renowned as the founder of analytical psychology. Although he was a theoretical psychologist and practicing clinician, much of his life’s work was spent exploring other areas, including Eastern and Western philosophy, alchemy, astrology, sociology, as well as literature and the arts. His most notable ideas include the concept of psychological archetypes, the collective unconscious and synchronicity. Jung is the source of some of my all time favorite quotes. I admire how he mixes logical thinking along with a grain of spirituality and the subconscious realms. Here is a list of my favorite quotes from Carl Jung:

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine or idealism.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.

Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.

The healthy man does not torture others – generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.

There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotions.

A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.

Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.

It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.

Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.

Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Shrinking away from death is something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its purpose.

The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable.

The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.

The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.

The word “happiness” would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

Who has fully realized that history is not contained in thick books but lives in our very blood?

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Shedding My Skin

So, this always happens to me. I go through this phase. I shed what was once me and recalculate. I'm really trying to figure out the adult I want to be. The 30 year old I want to be. Who I am. What I stand for. Being a good friend. Finding a career that I absolutely love! Have a family. Get married. Travel. More animals. Happiness. I want so bad for things to just go together and without too much struggle, I think that is achievable. I want so much to be this person that I value, respect, and look up to.

My first 3 obstacles that I am going for (from Sunday to Saturday) are to call all the girls about bridesmaid dresses. Do they want me to go with?? Will they need help? Tell them to take pictures. ;)

The second obstacle would have to be getting active. I need to start working out. I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to have children one day and I want to be able to keep up with them. I want to have cool looking clothes that I'm proud to wear and defines who I am. I want the increased self-esteem.

The third obstacle is getting my car washed. The interior and exterior!

These are totally attainable goals. I will do it. xo

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Remember to Eat Your Fruits and Vegetables

*Fruits*

Green Grapes – Vitamins A,C,D,E,K, Protein Fiber, Folate, Magnesium, Zinc

Kiwi fruit – Vitamins C, E, Fiber, Potassium,

Green Apples – Vitamins A, C, E, K, Protein, Fiber

Pears – Vitamins A, B, C, E, K, Fiber

Honeydew Melon – Vitamins A, C, Calcium, Iron

Limes – Vitamins A, B, C, E, K, Folate, Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron, Zinc


*Vegetables*

Broccoli – Vitamins A, C, E, K, Protein, Folate, Fiber, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron

Arugula Lettuce – Vitamins A, C, Calcium, Folate

Kale – Vitamins A, C, K, Protein, Fiber, Folate, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron

Collard Greens – Vitamins A, C, K, Protein, Calcium, Fiber, Folate

Romaine Lettuce – Vitamins A, C, K, Folate

Spinach – Vitamins A, C, B, E, K, Protein, Calcium, Fiber, Folate, Magnesium, Iron

Artichokes – Vitamin C, Fiber, Folate, Magnesium

Celery – Vitamins A, C, Protein, Fiber

Peas – Vitamins A, C Fiber, Folate

Onions – Vitamins, A, C, K, Calcium

Sprouts – Vitamins, B, C, Folate Potassium, Iron

Asparagus – Vitamins B, C, E, Protein, Calcium, Fiber, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron, Zinc

Swiss Chard – Vitamins, A, C, K, Potassium, Iron

Olives – Vitamins A, B, C, E, K, Calcium, Potassium, Iron, Zinc

Avocados – Vitamins C, B, E, Protein, Calcium, Fiber, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron, Zinc

Green Beans – Vitamin C, Protein, Fiber, Potassium, Iron

Cucumber – Vitamins B, C, Protein, Calcium, Fiber, Potassium, Magnesium, Iron, Zinc

Zucchini – Vitamins A, C, Potassium, Folate

Soybeans – Vitamins A, B, C, K, Protein, Calcium, Potassium, Fiber, Lysine, Magnesium, Iron, Zinc

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Time For Me to Fly

I've been thinking about typing on here for a while. You see, I start things, but never finish them. I do it ALL the time. I have a million journals..4 or 5 pages long...haha. It's quite funny when I think about it. Why do I do that? It's like I get bored with myself or with what I'm up to at that time. It's as if I'm driving and a fork in the road comes along and I'm like, "See ya, I'm taking this route now.."

Even right now, I was about to check out another website. Abandon ship here and come aboard another ship. To me...that is an inability to keep focus, inability to finish things, getting bored, forgetfulness. I look at all these words and they are soooooooo negative. Inability, forgetfulness...

I keep shouting to myself.. "stop being so hard on yourself!" And really, I am! I'm soooo hard on myself. It's so frustrating! But, I think I'm going to stop that. I've been listening to positive vibes lately and have been really inspired! Law of Attraction, baby! ;)

I'll write more later.

Bye Self. xo

Saturday, April 17, 2010

2 Simple Keys to Long Term Exercise

I’ve been working out at least 4 days a week since I was a freshman in high school. I’m now 26, so I feel like I have a solid understanding of how to stay consistently motivated and dedicated to an exercise regimen. I’ve read numerous articles with widely varying tips on how to accomplish this. These tips range from the simple act of getting a gym membership all the way to the intricacies of documenting a well defined set of fitness goals and personal rewards for accomplishing these goals. I’ve even read that getting dressed in gym clothes or making a commitment to walking the dog is enough to get the average person motivated.

While I don’t doubt the legitimacy in some of the suggested methods I’ve read, I don’t really think that they hold the key to long term exercise motivation and commitment. A regular exercise routine can be extremely redundant. The redundancy will eventually bore the average person out of their right mind. So even tough joining a gym, finding a workout buddy, and documenting fitness goals is a good start, it won’t exactly keep a person motivated 6 months down the road. In time, most people will start thinking hard about all the enjoyable things they would rather be doing instead… at which point the battle is lost.

So, what’s the key to long term exercise motivation? There are actually 2 keys, 2 very simple keys, music and variance. Motivation is usually driven by the desire to accomplish something, but it is kept intact on a moment to moment basis by continuously stimulating the mind. If the mind isn’t stimulated, it will rapidly lose desire for the original goal. In order to create a desire for exercise, you have to stimulate your mind by making exercise an enjoyable and adventurous experience, which is exactly what music and variance add to a long term exercise routine.

Music – Music makes us think, it gets us going, and it sets our stream of consciousness on a positive course. Both fast beat and slow beat music have the same stimulating effect on the mind, so alternate between the two while you exercise. Also, discovering new music that you like is one of the most rewarding experiences. Once you overplay all your favorite artists, start plugging their names into the various Web 2.0 music recommendation sites. These sites will assist you in discovering new bands and artists based on similarities to music you already like. Use your exercise time to rediscover your favorite artists, discover new ones, and build a massive collection of music that you will enjoy for the rest of your life. It won’t be long before you realize that music makes exercise fun.

Variance – No matter how wonderful an activity is at first, if it is performed in repetition over the course of several weeks it will ultimately become a dreadfully boring experience. Keep things fresh! Do a variety of different exercises each week. Your gym has numerous exercise machines, free weights, and pieces of cardio equipment. Ask a trainer for help if you need to, or just be adventurous and figure it out for yourself. Watch other people and learn. Just make sure you always start off with very light weight or speed settings when you are unfamiliar with an exercise. Once you have all the exercises down, start randomly alternating through them on a weekly basis. Do 3 or 4 sets of 3 or 4 exercises 3 or 4 times a week. Never do the same exact exercises in the same exact order 2 weeks in a row.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Do What You Want

Is there anything in your life that you would like to be different than it is right now?

Perhaps to lose weight? Meet a mate? Make more money?

This is the big fundamental issue we all face, because most of us would like to change or improve certain aspects of our lives. If you find yourself in this camp (and who isn’t there at least some of the time), then you will find the following steps very handy and useful. It is a process you can follow to "change anything in your life".

1. Know What You Want Rather Than What You Don’t Want

No matter what, you have to decide what you do want so that you have something specific to move towards. The reality is that most of us focus on what we don't want in our lives or don't want to experience. For example:

➢ I don’t want to be alone anymore.
➢ I don’t want to be overweight.
➢ I don’t want to be broke anymore.

The reason this is so important is that we gradually create what we focus on in our lives. Understand this key concept: where you put your attention is where you get your results. Think about it: if most of your attention is invested in pushing away the things you do not want, you inadvertently remain focused on exactly those things.

Following the examples outlined above, you remain focused on being alone, being overweight, and being broke. Doesn’t sound too pleasant, does it? Of course not, but many people do it their entire lives.

Conversely, we are suggesting you focus on what you do in fact want to be true in your life. Instead of the above consider thinking:

➢ I look forward to having a beautiful man/woman in my life who is a great fit and match for me.
➢ I look forward to living happily at 125 pounds (or whatever your desired weight is).
➢ I look forward to making $250,000 next year.

Understand that this doesn’t mean that you necessarily now know exactly how you are going to make it happen. That would not be realistic. However, the creative process necessary to get you there will never be sparked if you’re endlessly focused on what you don’t want. Therefore focusing on what you do want is a crucial first step to catalyze yourself into positive, forward-moving action.

2. Cultivate the Belief That It’s Possible

In order to achieve what you desire, you must first truly believe it is possible. This may seem obvious, but you would be surprised how often people want an outcome in their life they don’t really believe is possible.

Consider the example of losing weight: many people want to enjoy the benefits of permanent weight loss, but when questioned they realize they don’t really believe it’s possible. Here is a great question to ask yourself:

On a scale of 1-10, where 1 means you don’t believe permanent weight loss (or whatever your goal is) is truly possible in your life, and 10 means you couldn’t possible believe it any more, where would you put yourself right now?

This is a great question to ask yourself frequently to chart your progress. The rest of the steps outlined in this article are essentially designed to increase your level of belief that your goals are possible in your life.

3. Cultivate the Overwhelming Motivation To Succeed

Some people are naturally motivated to make their goals and aspirations happen. For these people, it’s relatively effortless. While it would be nice if we were all like that all the time, not everybody necessarily has the urgency to bring their vision to light. They may have the capability, but not the urgency.

For those to whom this urgency does not come easily or naturally, they must at times “manufacture” the urgency, or else they run the risk of stagnation. One “trick” if you will, for doing this is to become very clear on the pain that inaction will ultimately bring. If you don’t take action to lose weight, meet a mate or increase your income, where will you be in a year? In 5 years? How about 10 or 20? Realizing the pain that will result from inaction is powerful motivator for many people. It can often then be enhanced by contrasting this pain/misery with the enormous pleasure that is going to result from taking action.

4. Change Your Patterns, Change Your Life

As a quick experiment, I want you to cross your arms. Notice which arm is on top and which is on bottom. Now reverse the order. If your left arm was on top, make sure it is now on the bottom.

Feels strange, doesn’t it?

Now try the same experiment by interlocking your hands so your palms are touching and your fingers are interlaced. Which thumb is on top- your right or your left? Now switch everything around so your fingers are still interlaced, but the other thumb is on top.

Funny how that works?

These are patterns in your life. They are physical patterns, but they are also metaphors for the emotional and psychological patterns in your life.

These patterns show up in how we think about ourselves (“I am good” vs. “I am bad”), how we think of others (“I like people like him” vs. “I don’t like people like him”) and what we expect to be true in our lives (“I can be thin and happy” vs. “I will be overweight my whole life”). Of course these are simple examples, but they communicate the basic point.

They also show up in our behaviors. For example, turning to food when we are stressed; acting with rage towards others when we are upset or scared (or bottling it up completely, by contrast); looking towards others for reassurance that we are “okay”.

Here is the important thing to understand: our current patterns have gotten us to EXACTLY where we are in our lives right now.

They have gotten us no more and no less. Therefore, if we stick to the same patterns, we are not going to change, and the circumstances of our lives are not very likely to change either.

In order to get the changes we want, we have to change our patterns; we have to change our approach. When it comes to weight loss, for example, maybe this means following the “Eat To Live” approach for a month and mixing it up.

Maybe it means being open to getting outside feedback and coaching to help you uncover and correct your negative patterns. Maybe it is as simple as saying “no” to somebody you generally say “yes” to or vice versa.

One great thing we find again and again at PEERtrainer is that an interruption in negative behaviors or emotions can lead to powerful results. We get lots of amazing fan mail at PEERtrainer and have for years. One of the key reasons for this is that we provide tools and services that help people interrupt their negative patterns.

What is interesting is that PEERtrainer is growing faster than it ever has. The reason is that we keep taking action and introducing new ways for people to interrupt their old patterns by creating new products and services. We have new email programs, new blogs, and a new “go at your own pace” coaching program that people are loving.

All these new tools increase the odds that we will provide what people need to help them make the change towards the life they desire. We know this because you tell us. We listen to you and bring new things to the table to create the most helpful offerings we can.

This is the same thing that you can do in your own life: keep creating new patterns and behaviors that replace the old ones you are letting go of.

5. Create New Patterns to Replace the Old

After you have learned to interrupt your old habits, begin the search for positive alternative behaviors. Options are all around you that you can start developing immediately. Ask yourself, “what is the experience I really want to be having in my life?” Ask yourself that question and “listen” to the answer that comes back from within. Where does it guide you? Where does it want to lead you? What new behavioral options does it incline you towards?

This is a very important step. If you neglect to do this, you will likely return to your old habits. The more you do this, the more you create positive neural pathways in your brain that increase your sense of pleasure and reduce your frustration or pain.

For example, there are an infinite number of things you can do at night instead of mindlessly snacking, or binge or emotionally eating.

Make a list of all the positive things you can do at night that don’t involve food (other than a basic, healthy dinner). Here are a few ideas to get you started:

➢ Become a night “exerciser”
➢ Join a volleyball league
➢ Join a bowling league
➢ Go to the theater
➢ Take an art class
➢ If you are in our coaching program get in the habit of listening to the coaching calls in the evening.
➢ Hang out with friends.

Regardless, stay laser focused and persistent. Find the positive alternatives.

6. Reinforce, Reinforce, Reinforce (then Reinforce some more)

The sixth step is to reinforce this behavior over and over again. Repetition is the mother of skill. This is why we send out a tip
of the day email each and every day- it helps to reinforce positive patterns over and over again each day.

There is a reason why our coaching program is 12 weeks- it gives us time to not just teach, but also to reinforce the material. Throughout the week, you are sent activities, articles and assignments to help “condition those new muscles”.

Similarly, the online peer group you become part of in the coaching program provides you with a group of people who are also laser focused on developing new mental patterns. This total “reinforcement from all angles” is why people are having such great results, or are gradually developing an unshakeable belief that they will get where they want to be.

Hypnosis is another tool that you can use to attack the change process. PEERtrainer has written a review of hypnosis and weight loss. This is a proven reinforcement tool.

7. Embody the “Gratitude Attitude”

While this may sound rather cliché, it’s actually quite an important part of the process. Very often we are intensely results driven in our lives. This is a normal part of making a living and dealing with the daily concerns of life. That said, we are too often so busy getting from point A to point B (literally and figuratively) that we lose our ability to slow down and truly appreciate the mystery and wonder that is so much a part of life. I recognize this may sound “corny”, but I am still going to challenge you to really consider what I am saying.

I am talking about the kinds of things mystics and poets have written about for eons: the innocence of your child when she brings you a picture she has just colored in, a flower garden in spring, the sun setting- even things as simple as eating a meal with a friend.

We are all guilty of losing sight of the beauty and wonder around us much of the time, and yet there is real value in being able to “get back to it”. For me, the best way to “remember” these things is to be grateful, meaning to commit to find moments in my day to deeply appreciate my life; to be grateful for all that I have in spite of the normal ups and downs that come.

I think this is such an important part of the process because it brings our attention back to what we do have, rather than endlessly focusing on what don’t have yet. Shifting out attention to this positive place of gratitude is a great (and in my opinion necessary) “balancer” to the intense and avid pursuit to make changes in our lives and achieve our goals.

Gratitude reminds us that while it’s great to pursue our goals in life, having happiness and wholeness ultimately results from a choice that comes from within.

Five Goals

1. Take more pictures. Find out what it would take to get Photoshop. Work on editing. Learn how to tag people in a picture. Name all my pictures.

2. Keep up with emailing my mom while she's in Florida. She wants to be in the loop. Email and call her a few times this week.

3. Exercise and eat more consciously. Stop with all the pop and junk food. Start eating healthier and making choices that coincide with my goals.

4. Work on a Valentine's Day craft. Find something, look into the material needed and do it!

5. Buy lots of Lean Cuisines.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sunscreen

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Monday, November 2, 2009

For the lazy little slugs like me :)

I found this on a website called littledumbman.com.

7 Must Read Productivity Steps to Finally Getting Things Done
I wrote this article as a “master guide” to productivity. Well OK, I don't know about a "master guide" but one thing is for sure: implementing these steps will help you increase your output if you implement them towards the tasks that you’re passionate about.The process I’ve documented below is the one that I personally use, and frankly, I have had excellent results. Before jumping in, try not to treat this like every other article (scan, consider, forget). Write down the steps, see how they specifically apply to your situation, and by all means, be sure to put them into action!Remember, nothing changes until you change, or as I like to say, change isn’t change until you change!Here are the 7 Master Steps to Productivity

Step #1: Write Down What You Want to Accomplish and Give it a DeadlineMost people know to do this but few actually put this step into action. It’s critical that you define each task that you want to accomplish and give each task a deadline.Paul Meyer said, “If you’re not making the progress that you would like to make, and are capable of making, it is simply because your goals are not clearly defined.”Written goals with deadlines (when seen daily) will drive you to be more productive. Without knowing “exactly” where you are going, you will most likely stagnate.Let’s use the example of me “losing weight” for illustration purposes:
It certainly wouldn’t be productive for me to think, “I want to lose weight.”
The best thing for me to do is to give myself a deadline to accomplish the goal. Then place my desired weight with the respective deadline in a place where I will see it daily (like my vanity mirror). Finally, I should create a picture in my mind of “me” at my ideal weight. This picture will help drive my actions.

Step #2: Create a Simple Plan for Getting Things DoneIt’s obviously not enough to just have a written goal with a deadline. Having a goal is like having “the address” to where you want to go. The address will certainly help you get to your destination, but it’s not enough. You also need a “plan,” or “directions” to get you from where you are, to where you want to be.Do you have a plan for achieving your goals? Where is your plan documented?Back to our weight loss example:A weight loss plan may look something like this:
Run on treadmill for one hour daily
Plan all meals (limiting calories to 1700 a day)
Read motivational “weight loss” material for 10 minutes daily prior to lunch.Your plan should be detailed, specific, and have a direct impact on your goal.

Step #3: Schedule Critical Tasks DailyHaving a goal and a plan is still not enough. Now you must schedule your critical task! Critical tasks are tasks that directly impact the achievement of your goal. If your goal is to write a book, a critical task may be to write for 2 hours a day.In our weight loss example, here’s how we would schedule our critical tasks:
7:00am – 8:00am – Run for one Hour on Treadmill
11:00am – 11:10am – Read Motivational Weight Loss Material
8:00pm – 8:15pm – Plan Meals for Next Day and Track ProgressHave you scheduled your critical task? Do you know what they are?Note: Never have more than three critical tasks.

Step #4: Eat that “Ugly Frog” First The “ugly frog” represents a critical task that you are reluctant to perform. The best thing to do with an ugly frog is to eat it first.In our weight loss example, the ugly frog would be:• Running on the treadmill at 7:00am.Eating the ugly frog daily is usually the difference between success and failure. Do yourself a favor and eat that ugly frog at your first available time-slot.

Step #5: Focus on the task at HandBroken focus is the number one reason goals aren’t accomplished.Paul Meyer said, “Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.”You must stay focused on your critical tasks just as the sailor is focused on the port in the harbor in which he is headed. Don’t let anything side track you from completing your critical task on a daily basis.Back to our weight loss example - Here are a couple of things that could break my focus if I was trying to lose weight:
A family member brings donuts over to the house
At 7:15am (while on the treadmill) I remember that I need to return a friends phone call and decide that is more important.The key is to remain focused in the face of distractions. Distractions will come, just as sure as you’re reading these words right now. You must expect distractions and maneuver around them.What distractions do you have? How can you maneuver around them? You must carefully allocate your time. Your daily task selection is critical.You should always ask yourself:
Is what I’m doing right now in alignment with my goals?
Is this a level 10 on the critical scale, or just a level 5?
Am I focused on my top 3 critical tasks?

Step #6: Just Say “No”Just say no to tasks that are not in alignment with your goals. The word no is probably the biggest time saver there is so increase your “no” ratio if you want to increase your productivity.The number one person you’ll probably have to say no to is yourself. Your mind is good at coming up with new things to do to get you off track. So remember, just say no, because the quickest way to stop a man with a good idea, is to give him two.Back to our weight loss example; there will be many opportunities for me to say “no:”
If I’ve planned a healthy lunch (based on my diet plan), and someone asks me to join them at a steak house…It’s best if I just say no, in a nice way, as eating a steak for lunch is not in alignment with my goals.

Step #7: Track and Report Your ProgressFinally, there’s nothing like some good ole’ peer pressure to get you motivated. Tell someone about your goal and keep them posted on your progress!This is how the tracking and reporting process would work in our weight loss example:
I would tell my wife, “I will lose 16 pounds by December 31. This is how I’m planning on completing this task, and I will update you on my progress every Saturday at 8:00am.”Knowing that I have to be accountable on a specific goal, on a specific day, to a specific person, is a great motivator. This level of specificity is a very important part of productivity.The goal and deadline should be clear, the plan should be clear, the critical task should be clear, the scheduling of the task should be clear, and the reporting process should be clear. If there’s clarity, there will be progress.In conclusion, don’t let this article be just another good article. Decide to put these steps into action to significantly increase your productivity. Remember nothing just happens, you have to make things happen and you start by getting into action!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Ra-ra-rambling

Today has been an unproductive day, but I'm loving every minute of it. I've sat around and watched a million episodes of Roseanne today! :) Love, love, love that show!!! One of my all time favorites.

I'm having a hard time concentrating on something right now. It's like I feel like I can't do enough around my house. I also feel like I have given up on working up again. Why is it so hard to do this? I'm not even slipping into my eating disorder ways. It's more like...not caring anymore. I care about what I look like, I care about being healthy, however, I think I've taken a 180.

I will figure this out :) I love analyzing. Sometimes it's mentally draining because I can over*analyze certain things a lot. I'm always trying to figure out more about myself and others. Motives. Behaviors. So interesting. Which is why I have really been leaning towards working with mental illness and psychology. I gave up the idea for a bit and leaned towards nursing. But, my heart loves helping those in need mentally.

Anyways, this was just a little ramble. Will try to keep up with writing more often. Why do I find that so hard to do most the time?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Unleashing...

I close my eyes and the first thing I see is me....in a picture....but this picture hasn't been taken yet. I'm standing there and I have this cardigan on, oatmeal, maybe merlot, and a nice tee underneath with a pair of cute shoes, dark jeans, a belt, and a watch and some jewelry. I envision my nails being longer...most likely from getting them done and always having shampoo and conditioner, all the body lotions, scrubs, make-up. I just want to keep up with myself!! I want be able to wear the clothes I want to wear, have my hair done and dyed and kept up.

I'll be moving soon, which I'm looking forward to more than anything else. I want the independence. I want more power and control. I don't want to control everything, but maybe work on control myself. Regardless....a new home of my own. Can't wait.

Part of me wants to turn this into something creative. Turn it into a blog for others to really read and feel inspired by and look at cool pictures. Maybe share my own thoughts, pictures, poems, etc. I just have this creativity bug in me. Must unleash it!!!!!

Monday, July 13, 2009

It's Part of You....


Just a Little Bit About Me!

I post pictures of lovely things - celebrity images & news, film & television stills, pictures by current & classic artists, fashion spreads, vintage nudes, retro & vintage advertising & a personal photo from time to time among soooo many other things such as animals and nature.
I love having conversations about the pretty things I look at, so feel free to leave a comment if you'd like to talk excitedly with me about gorgeous things. I try my best to be positive & cheerful & hope the pictures & thoughts that I share make people as happy as they make me. I try to share as many details as I can as I'm a big fan of knowing a lot of information about a picture.
I share the images I come across on the internet as a fan of the pictures/picture subject. I claim no ownership or copyright of any of the images posted except those taken by me. If you are the owner of a specific image & would like it removed, please comment & I will do so promptly.

Fear


Fear

Abraham - Hicks

Fear is the emotion that comes forth when you are choosing a thought that is not up to speed with the desire that you hold. You’re going to feel it and you’re going to feel it stronger. It is the reason that the word “terror” or “terrorist”, or “terrorizing” is such an appropriate word. It is not only in the action that you witness, or that you hear about, it is in the speculation that begins to run rampant. The power of the terrorists is much greater in things that never come to be than it ever is in the things that do come to be.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Picky

Day 1 of being better with my eating choices ;)
I just like fatty foods WAY too much! They are so fun and comfortable.

I went to Portillo's today and had a salad with chicken and walnuts. Yum!
And a cup of fruit. Eating healthy can be exhausting! hahah. But actually, it was very good! I liked it - muy mucho! :)

5 of my favorite things right now:

1. Juno
2. Tulips
3. Smoking Popes
4. Driving at night
5. Love Line

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Stillness

It's been a while since I was last on here.
I've been a bit lazy in the posting department!

Working a lot. Tired by bed time! Not staying up that late anymore, although, I miss the night life! I feel a lot more comfortable in the evening. But, in terms of depression, the sunlight is sooooooo good for me. =)

I've been living a very stagnant life lately. And I've been thinking so much about how we are only given this one day...this one moment...and how I really want to be making it count.

Seriously need to figure out what I'm doing and stop standing still!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Life

Why is it so hard for me to run into my ex? Oh, and not to mention, my current boyfriend being right on the side of me for the whole ride! Poor guy.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Words to Live By...

Read Each One Carefully & Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened..
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around..
12.. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.